The Problem with Drivers/Driving in the Seattle, Bellevue, and remaining Puget Sound Region

All day long, I drive the I-5 corridor for work. Sometimes it makes me want to rip my hair out. I have to schedule my appointments around traffic because if I want to go anywhere in a reasonable amount of time, it requires planning and knowing the streets. There are many types of drivers in the Puget Sound area piss me off, so here's a few I would like to share with you.

1) Rushing to Work Guy
What he looks like: He's driving kind of slow, and you keep seeing him bobbing his head up and down.
Why he's dangerous: He's late for work because he partied too late the night before, and he's trying to check up on emails and chat on his Blackberry at the same time.

2) I do my make-up while I'm driving Girl
What she looks like: I once saw a woman in Tacoma, WA who was actually brushing her hair while driving. Now, I understand a quick brush through at a red light to get a tangle out, but this girl literally brushed her hair for about 5 miles.
Why she's dangerous: She only has one hand on the wheel, and her mirror is pointed down at herself so she can look at herself while she is driving/doing her hair. She's so not paying attention.

3) We're from the suburbs Family
What they look like: They're in a mini-van with those annoying little family stick figure stickers on the back window. They more than likely are sporting one or more "my child is an honor school student" bumper sticker.
Why they're dangerous: They only drive into the big city on special occasions or on the weekend, and they always forget to get their asses into the HOV lane.

4) Big Rig Trucker Passing Through
What they look like: A big trucker
Why they're dangerous: They're impatient, and ride your ass.

 

5) Whoops, I forgot where I was going guy
What he looks like: He's in the far left lane during rush hour and then tries desperately to work his way over to the right lane for the next exit in 1/4 mile.
Why he's dangerous: He isn't paying attention to where he's going, and can easily cause an accident because no one else is paying attention to where they're going or where he's going.

6) I never learned how to merge Man
What he looks like: He's they guy on the on-ramp to the freeway who is still going 30 MPH as he approaches the merge point.
Why he's dangerous: If he doesn't move his fucking Prius out of the way, I am going to ram into him.... because I know that as you are merging onto a freeway you are supposed to accelerate to match the speed of traffic.

7) I didn't tie my load down correctly Dude
What he looks like: A truck with shit flying off the back
Why he's dangerous: He can kill you.

 

8)  I'm not from around here,
in fact, I'm from  California
What he looks like: A foreigner, as in someone not from Seattle.
Why he's dangerous: He doesn't quite grasp U.S. driving etiquette, and could quite possibly cause road rage.

9) I think I can drive fast in snow Guy
What he looks like: He's the guy spinning out in front of you on the road, or following his GPS and crashing into the freeway
Why he's dangerous: Seattle has hills, it's dangerous and he's a dumb ass and doesn't know when to slow down. He could also cause a major mid-winter pile up. Also, use your brain, don't go down an icy hill in the winter, unless you want to tempt fate.

10) Driving the wrong way on the Freeway Guy

What he looks like: Scott Noble, King County Assesor
Why he's dangerous: He's drunk driving, and he's serving in public office. Thank God he didn't kill someone. Asshole.

 

Recommended for further Bad Driver reading:
Washington State Drivers License Guide
One Man's Blog
Seattle Driving Ettiqutte